The Roller Coaster Ride of the NICU

It has been an up and down ride the last few days in the NICU. Twin A has gone from a ventilator to an oscillator. He was not doing so well on the ventialor. It is a different breathing assistance apparatus. It is kind of scary at first because it makes the baby vibrate. It is a sight to get used to. They have to be sedated and can't be touched as often. Ok, I said it was scary at first, I still get a chill when I first walk in.

While the oscillator is a little off putting, A has responded very well to it. In the last 24 hours the doctors and nurses have been very impressed with how well he is doing and have already started adjusting the settings to wean him off.

B is also doing good. He is still on the ventilator, but is now breathing what is considered "room air." The settings on the ventialor are comparable to what we breathe normally. Today they will give him a tiny bit of breastmilk through his tubes to see how he digests. This was a very exciting development and you can imagine how happy I was to hear this. It is only a tiny bit, but it is a start.

It is already after 3:30 and I have managed to only cry twice, which is far different from the constant sobbing I was doing before. I know part of it is just hormones, but leaving them in the NICU is still the most difficult thing I have ever done. Remind me of this when I hand them keys to go driving alone for the first time.

We are working on a good system to spend time with the boys at the hospital, our oldest son, and still make sure I am resting and eating so I can keep producing breastmilk. It so far has been a carefully crafted balance, but my husband is incredibly supportive and helpful in making sure we strike the right balance.