The Next Journey - NICU Stay

We have turned the page and started our next journey this time into the NICU. After 47 days in the hosptial, I am being discharged tomorrow and will have to leave my tiny, sweet babies here. It is the moment I have dreaded. Is a rare occasion that I can walk into the NICU without shedding a tear. I have gotten past completely crying when I walk in the door. It is incredibly hard to see your little ones fighting to mature and grow, with lines and tubes coming out of them. You feel so helpless. I know they will be ok. I know in my head that this is the best place for them, but it doesn't make it any easier. I want to hold them. I want to hug them and I can't. Not for now at least.

The NICU is one big roller coaster ride. For every two steps forward you move, you then take two steps back. I try to keep this in mind as I gather information about how they are doing.

Both boys currently need assistance breathing. Shortly after they were born the needed only brief assistance, but after this "honeymood" period was over, the have needed additional assistance. The amount of assistance has flunctated as their lungs continue to mature and they learn to breathe a bit more on their own. As of an hour ago they were both breathing mostly on their own.

Today they had their hearts examined as a result of the work their lungs are doing. They didn't think anything was wrong, but mostly examined them as a precautionary measure. Both of their hearts look strong and healthy for their gestational age. The cardiologist didn't have any concerns.

We are not sure how long this road will be, but we will continue to keep you updated.